Motherhood,  Parenting

How To Raise Self-Confident Kids

Self-Confidence

Right now the most, I feel like we Moms need some extra energy, motivation, and inspiration and whole lot less Mommy guilt and negativity in our lives. It is so easy to be hard on ourselves and wonder if we are doing enough or thinking we are failing as a parent. Sometimes we even fall into the comparison trap. Are our kids learning enough, are they using their i pads too much? We always have something to worry about, am I right?

Yes, it is hard raising humans. It is exhausting. It is overwhelming especially during a pandemic. It can be isolating and so this is the time we must mentally check in with our head space and really raise the bar on our self esteem and self confidence. It is time we find our warrior moments.


I wanted to write about some ways we can improve and cultivate a happy life while at the same time improve our self confidence as Mothers. There is no doubt I believe that self-confident parents, raise self-confident kids. One of my ultimate goals as a parent is to instill self confidence and positive self esteem into my kids. Self confidence means a feeling of trust in one’s abilities, qualities, and judgment. Who wouldn’t want their kids to have this quality? I want my kids to grow up with self love, self confidence, and bravery to face all of life’s challenges and in order to do this we ourselves must have these qualities as well. Confident kids are confident because their parents are confident, supportive, encouraging, and positive.

“You cannot give your children what you yourself do not have.” -B.Brown

This goes for anything and a good reminder that in order for us to teach confidence, kindness, and self esteem we must be these things ourselves. One of the most important things we can do as a parent is help our children develop a strong sense of self confidence early on. I love how self confident people radiate happiness because you can tell they are living their most true authentic selves. How can we boost our family’s self confidence thermostat right now especially during times of a crisis like we are facing today? It is the little things we do everyday which add up to make a big difference over a lifetime. Here are a few reminders and simple strategies that have helped me get back on the confident parenting train. I hope this article inspires you along the way.

1.Connect

We do not have to be the perfect parent we just need to be present. Kids want to know they are seen, this makes them feel important and feeling they are priority is a big factor to being confident. I love showing my kids they are worth my time and that I care about what they think, their emotions, and about their interest. One of my strengths in life is connecting with others, it comes natural, so it is very easy for me to connect with my children. I love showing an interest in what they love or fixated on and I am really good at asking in depth questions about their day. Really taking time to connect with your kids every day at some point throughout the day is crucial to building their self confidence. Do not be too preoccupied to check in with them here and there. Sometimes we have to disconnect from work our phones to deeply connect with our children. Maybe it is a simple as walking to the park without your phone or listening to them and giving them undivided attention when they are speaking gives them a sense of they are important to you and can allow them to grow confident in the home which then instills confidence in them when they go out into the real world. Truly finding time to connect with each kid is so important. I love having one on one time with each child. I may take my little boy for a bike ride and the next day take my little girl to the park by herself and swing her. I find time to make it a priority to connect with each kid in their own unique way. This absolutely makes them feel super special and loved. How can you connect with your children today? Maybe it is through music, or doing a puzzle, going swimming, play soccer in the backyard, baking something together. What are ways you can deeply connect with your children in a way you haven’t? Watch the magic happen when you find something to connect with your kids over.

2.Embrace Fear

You can model confidence by embracing your own fears. Stepping out of your own comfort zone shows your kids they can do the same when trying something new. I love challenging my kids and letting them experience failure. This is a hard one because when you see your children struggle it can hurt your heart but I have experienced the other side of it and its amazingly magical. It is incredible seeing them succeed at something they have been working so hard to overcome. Maybe this is simply learning to climb up the stairs or slide down a slide, when they are ready it will happen. Do not force these things or you may miss the magic in it. When we jump to their rescue we are not doing an favors so I like to sit back and watch them figure it out. When kids learn to overcome their fear, failures or struggles they develop a strong sense of confidence and positive self esteem. Not to mention the resilience and perseverance they gain from it. Let the take risks, let them do things they are challenged by, let them try a new sport, let them try new experiences. Providing a way for kids to find a sense of accomplishment through taking small risks gives them the confidence they need to tackle bigger things in life. Give them freedom to learn their own limits, take the back seat sometimes. Let them figure it out, let them find the solution on their own. Be their guide when they need it but be more of an observer and watch before stepping in next time you see your child taking a risk. This feeds into their confidence more then we will ever know. Embracing your fears and your superpowers gives your children the permission to embrace theirs. Do not be afraid to give them a mountain and let them climb. Kids are so resilient.

3.Model Confidence

How many Moms are or are not doing this right now? Are you letting fear get the best of you? Whether you are introvert or extrovert stepping outside of your comfort zone can be a challenge because its easy to stay in routine. However, nothing great was ever achieved within your own comfort zone. I love stepping out of my comfort zone here and there because it is the only way we learn and grow and I am confident in myself to know that pushing the limits in life is good for your soul. It can awaken your creativity and passions again and can make you feel alive. What in your life have you been wanting to do but have not gotten the courage to do it? Well, if you are reading, what is stopping you? Make it happen. Find your inner self confidence, the warrior Mom, and get it done. You are brave and strong and showing this can only benefit your family and your children as well. When your kids see you try new things, then they will also want to try new things. When they see you facing your fears, they will more than likely want to face theirs too!! The best way to teach our children how to be self-confident is to show them how we exude it ourselves. Be open and honest with your own struggles, celebrates your successes, model confident behavior and lay a strong foundation for your kids is essential especially in the early days.

A confident woman stands tall, looks people in the eyes when she is talking to them and smiles because she believes in herself. When we are confident in our actions, activities, and choices our kids will be confident as well in their actions, activities, and choices. Teach them about picking themselves up when the fall or how hard work pays off. Parenting is a constant cycle of finding opportunities to improve ourselves because it improves the lives of our children as well. I remember my Mom always making me stand up tall and straighten my shoulders back. As a Mom myself now, I realize that was her way of trying to instill self confidence in me by using my body language. Stand tall Moms, because your kids are always watching.

4.Healthy Choices

Self confident Moms, make choices that align with their soul and have no time for negative nellies of the world and actually removes them from their life. They have the power to see positive in any situation and tries hard to surround themselves with positive people and things of the world. They also understand the importance of self care and when they take care of themselves they are modeling this for their kids as well. When we eat our fruits and veggies, guess what our kids will too. My little boy loves eating spinach salad with strawberries with boiled egg because he sees me doing it. They love going to ride their bikes because they see my husband ride his. All of these habits will lead to self confident children. How proud do you think my little boy was when he learned how to ride his bike without training wheels all by himself? I mean what a confidence booster. Or when they learn to dress themselves or read for the first time? Those are the moments I live for, the moments I will remember forever. When you make healthy habits they will adopt the same ones.

5.Positive Affirmations

A confident Mother will use positive words in conversations and in parenting their children to build others up. She does not have to put others down in order to feel good about herself. She looks for ways to inspire others an herself through positive affirmation. Words are powerful and when I praise my kids for making good choices, you can see the spark in their little eyes. I love acknowledging small victories they do as well such as being good at the doctor or brushing their teeth at night. They want to make your proud but if you keep harping on the things they do wrong you miss the opportunity to build them up. I try not to over praise them because research does show that this can lead to egotism all the way to adulthood. Instead I try to be very detailed, intentional, and specific with praising. For example, “Wow, you worked hard on that picture. It looks beautiful”. There are so many ways you can rearrange your words to praise kids to build and foster their self-confidence rather then just saying “good job”. I love turning the praise back around to my kids which makes the praise about something they did well like “Wow, you ran so fast today at soccer and scored so many goals. You worked so hard out there, you must be proud of yourself”. How do you praise your children? What are some ways you can be more intentional with your words to help foster their self confidence? Try to use more “you” statements then “I”. This helps them feel like you are paying attention to them and nothing feels better to kids than when someone notices them.

Also, making sure your own self talk is full of positive affirmations will help too. For example:

“Today is a great day and I am an excellent Mother to my kids”

“I am going to laugh and have fun with my kids today because I am a great Mom”

“Today I will find peace in good enough because perfection is impossible”

“I will be an intentional parent.”

Grab these free positive affirmation cards in my resource library.All you have to do is subscribe with your email and the password will get sent you and you will have access to all my freebies.

Words are so powerful and it is time for us to give our selves credit where credit is do and stop with the mommy guilt and the negative self talk. YOU ARE MOM ENOUGH!

6.Give Choices

Anther great way to foster your children’s self confidence is to give them choices. Letting them decide own their own boost their confidence because they can learn to trust their own judgement their own decisions. This one can be a challenge for me sometimes when it comes to pickng out their own clothes or what they want to eat. I am extremely type A and I have to be intentional with this because I can be very controlling sometimes if I don’t parent intentionally. However, I see the benefits and the decrease in battles and power struggles when I give them choices. For example, “Do you want me to buckle you in or do you got it”? Another example, “Do you want to ride your bike today or go the the library”? “Do you want to watch Paw Patrol or Peppa Pig”? Being a decision maker will boost their self confidence and empower them so much. So next time you are faced with a battle or in a power struggle, give them two choices.

Conclusion

I hope this list inspires you and helps you find new ways to boost you and your children’s self confidence. I myself want to raise confident children who will raise their hand in class, who will step up to the plate and make decisions that they feel confident with and who are brave courageous leaders.

How can you build your children up? Is there a family outing that can improve everyone’s confidence? Here are some amazing confident building books. What are some ways you instill confidence in your children? Please share. Subscribe to Mamma-Tribe for lots of other educational and inspirational freebies!

PRESCHOOL BOOKS THAT INSPIRE SELF CONFIDENCE

UPPER ELEMENTARY BOOKS THAT INSPIRE SELF CONFIDENCE

PARENTING BOOKS THE INSPIRE SELF CONFIDENCE

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